Where Have All the Men Gone?

December 17, 2006

This article was written by Seth D H on TheRebelution’s forum.


This is a post about us. Where have we gone? I know that today when you look through the youth groups, you see countless BOYS, not men, in the youth group. And that’s all today’s culture is. I want to exhort you, my brothers, on two counts.

First, what about girls? Where was I when the memo came out the intimacy before marriage is okay? I define intimacy as any act that involves a man and a woman with their bodies, even hand-holding! We don’t need to be playing girls like a game. Whatever happened to helping the girls pursue purity, not just trying to meet our selfish gains. I am one of you! There’s nothing I want more than a girlfriend. But brothers, we need to understand that we do not deserve them unless we are committed! We have no right to a girlfriend unless we have thoughts of further commitment!

I am not saying that we should ignore girls altogether. Hardly! But that we should pray and encourage our sisters! You would not kiss your sister! So unless that sister becomes a “special sister” than you need to realize that they are not your property and that we should protect them and help them remain pure for their future husbands. I know I would be furious if I knew that my wife had another man. And so would you! So respect girls and protect them!

Secondly, let’s look at our manhood. What makes a man? Is it burping and muscles and cigarettes? Is it bedding as many girls as possible? No! But that’s the message we get today, from TV to radio to video games to computers. We need to realize that to be a man is not easy. It requires work on our part to achieve that level of “manliness.” There are plenty of boys out there. Immature boys.

I exhort you, go against the flow of the world, pick up your swords, and charge! Find Christian brothers who will keep you accountable and help you, not drag you down with false counsel. Who says that sharing your feelings isn’t manly? I say “Cry when you’re sad, laugh when you’re happy, and pray when you’re mad!” Go against the media.

All the way,


  1. Apparently, it’s official. The peer group is the strongest influence on today’s youth. It’s stronger than the influence from the schools, the churches, the coaches, and even the parents. So where are today’s boys learning manhood?

    Should the boys look to today’s men to understand God’s plan for men? Let’s see … over 50% divorce (including church goers), 3 years after a divorce, over half the divorced dads never see their kids again … never. Men are gaining their identity through their employment, not their faith, and not their family. So young men must be careful when choosing role models. Christ-centered manhood hasen’t been modeled or taught in several generations (obviously a few exceptions do exist).



  2. Hmmm… I like the tone of this post, but… I disagree on several things.

    First, girls. The key thing to a relationship with a girl is that you keep yourself open to God, and that you know your limits and the girl’s limits. If I have an issue with holding hands then I shouldn’t hold hands. If I don’t have a problem holding hands but the girl does, then once again I shouldn’t hold hands. If we both are fine with holding hands and aren’t going to be tempted to sin by doing so, then it’s fine.

    It’s all about what is in a person’s heart. If my heart is pure, I can do anything and I will not be sinning. I still need to do my best to not tempt a girl in any way, but I repeat, if my heart is pure I can do anything without sinning.

    My second differing of opinion is the whole, “Go against the media/popular/world”. I don’t know if this is what you meant, but I hate it when people tell me to, “…flee from everything that the world does.” What kind of messed up logic is that? The world may have problems, but guess what? It’s still got some God in it. People still do good things. Non-Christians still do good acts. I hope I’m not supposed to flee from everything of the world, because the world still does good stuff as well as bad stuff. I make it my goal to flee from the sins that the world commits.

    Just my thoughts.

  3. Freshman:
    On your first portion:
    Another issue to consider is others. If your actions (example: holding hands) causes others to sin (example: think it’s ok to hold hands, thus, holding hands and “going too far” – i.e. lustful thoughts), then you should re-consider whether you should continue with the same actions. Just a thoughts.

    On you second portion:
    Aren’t we told to “be in the world, but not of the world?” (I’m pretty sure that’s in the Bible, but I am un-able to find the referance. If anyone could tell me where that is in the Bible, I’d be greatful)
    Seth also said, “I exhort you, go against the flow of the world, pick up your swords, and charge!” We, as Christians, should get into the world (media, music, movies, etc.) and change the world – not run from it.

  4. Consider:

    Be on your guard, stand firm in the faith, act like men; be strong. Do everything in love (1 Cor 16:13-14).

    Now flee from youthful lust and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. (2 Tim 2:22).

    Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins (James 4:17).

  5. I checked out TheRebelution and found this article, Marks of Manhood.

    It corrosponds with this article, so I thought I’d link y’all to it. Marks of Manhood is pretty good. I reccomend it.

  6. Also check out


  7. Well, I think it’s time to come out of hiding *laughs*

    Just to put the record straight, I never meant that we should run away from the world. God knows what would happen if the salt of the Earth left. I merely meant the opposite, that we should “pick up our swords and charge. Go against the media… ect.” means that we should go against what the media tells us is right, and reestablish what God has commanded as the status quo.
    What the whole purpose of this post was, is to change your mindset from, “How far can I get without sinning,” but “How much can I save for my wife?” I will never be able to hold hands with my wife for the first time, I’ve already given that away. But I can still save my first kiss for the alter, and I’ll tell you, it’s going to be hard going. But I KNOW I will reap benefits when my wife knows that she and she alone is the only one I’ve ever kissed. And I think my marriage will be all the better for it.


  8. Y’all should check this article out!

    Teen Girls Define a Real Man.

    It’s a collection of quotes from teen girls and scripture. It’s good.

  9. Seth, thank you so much for those words. After reading the book, “Saving My First Kiss” about a year ago, it has been amazing what the mindset of “how much can I save” instead of “how far can i go” has encouraged and built me. Thinking in those terms really changes your perspective on relationships and your future spouse.

    Also, I really appreciate that article “Teen Girls Define a Real Man.” With such a decaying, fallen world around us, it’s encouraging to know there are guys seeking to be Christ-like, curteous, kind, chivalrous, Real Men.

  10. A man. One who follows God with his whole heart. One who takes responsiblity seriously. One who can provide for his family. One who will lead his family in the ways of God. These are the marks of a man.

  11. Very nice description Lady.

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